Even if you haven’t seen Wicked in its musical or movie form, you have likely come across the iconic image of Elphaba taking her stand, complete with hat, cape, and broom – defying gravity. She’s planning to change her world, and we all look up and root for her – with tears and cheers and great hope. That’s why Defying gravity is one of the songs I play for myself when I need to boost my courage for doing the big and little things that I believe will make a difference. Hers is the kind of cape I want to wear to save the world.

It turns out, however, that I am not an Elphaba with unique power and attention-getting presence and righteous determination. But never mind all that – spoiler alert – Elphaba’s splashier efforts don’t necessarily help her cause anyway. The way to change things is more often through smaller, narrower actions accumulated over time – actions that are within every person’s capability and sphere of influence.

We not-Elphabas can take a lesson from Oliver Burkeman. Burkeman is perhaps the good wizardly guru for the not-Elphaba-people who want a meaningful, successful life without constantly feeling they are not doing enough and not hitting the mark with their efforts.

Following up on his time management counter-argument, 4000 Weeks, Burkeman is back with a new guide, Meditations for Mortals. Burkeman is something of a herald, pointing out rather bluntly that we are each actually rather finite and small, and maybe instead of some grand plan, we should aim for something more realistic – important, but more close at hand. “When you give up the unwinnable struggle to do everything, that’s when you can start pouring your finite time and attention into a handful of things that truly count.”

Meditations for Mortals takes the shape of a “retreat of the mind,” offering 28 days (4 weeks) of advice around being finite, taking action, letting go, and showing up. It may be a nice thinking guide for planning your year and refining your goals. Let me share some of the insights I am noodling based on my read. (Your insights may vary.)

Being finite. We may sometimes need to remind ourselves that we’re just a tiny speck on a small planet in a large universe in a blink of the vast expanse of time. Regardless, we may feel compelled to make an impact – to do something worthwhile with the limited time we have. The task, then, is to decide where we want to focus our energies. “In an age of attention scarcity, the greatest act of good citizenship may be learning to withdraw your attention from everything except the battles you’ve chosen to fight.” No one can do it all, but we each have our part to play.

Taking action. Burkeman advises that we should “aspire not to a life without problems, but to a life of ever more interesting and absorbing ones.” I feel this advice keenly because I am at a career crossroads (coming up on retirement), and you may feel it as well if your day-to-day challenges no longer hold your attention. Burkeman also shares counter-cultural advice about how to make changes in your habits. While many self-help gurus want you to commit to taking desired action for a specific string of days without fail, Burkeman advises that we can do just as well – without the pressure and self-derision when we miss – if we commit to doing certain new practices “dailyish.” Rather than keeping track of your streaks, keep track of your “done list.”

Letting go. What matters doesn’t need to be hard. Doing something is doing something. It reminds me of advice elsewhere from Rebecca Solnit who has said, “the fact that we cannot save everything does not mean we cannot save anything and everything we can save is worth saving.” The useful rule here is to do the generous thing that’s in front of you. Instead of backing off and waiting to strategize and choose, when opportunities present themselves that let you move your cause forward – do them in the moment, even if they are small. “[By] wanting to be optimally kind instead of just kind, or wanting to feel in full control of your time and obligations – you never manage to translate your impulses into action.” Go for quantity, not quality – especially if gearing up for quality is the equivalent of inaction.

Showing up. Burkeman suggests that we learn to embrace the equivalent of “scruffy hospitality.” We too often don’t invite people over because they might see that our home isn’t perfectly clean and uncluttered; we don’t get together with others because it’s too hard. But friends don’t judge your housekeeping as much as they are saddened by your absence. Don’t wait until things might be perfect… small moves count. “If you see all of this as leading up to some future point when real life will begin, or when you can finally start enjoying yourself, or feeling good about yourself – then you’ll end up treating your actual life as something to ‘get through,’ until one day it’ll be over, without the meaningful part ever having arrived.”

In all, Meditations for Mortals is another thought-provoking call to action – impactful because it may actually be do-able. Despite our attraction to “defying gravity,” most of us have to work from the ground. “Why shouldn’t an anonymous career spent quietly helping a few people get to qualify as a meaningful way to spend one’s time? Why shouldn’t an absorbing conversation, an act of kindness, or an exhilarating hike get to count?”

Instead of holding tight to delusions of grandeur, find the problems or opportunities that interest you and let others focus on the rest. Do something dailyish to address those problems, and those steady, sometimes imperfect actions will accumulate to the meaningful life we want.

On the one hand, the advice sounds like permission to jump off the hamster wheel – to give up on ambition and striving – advice that may be desperately needed or easily dismissed, depending on your state of mind.

But on closer look, these meditations provide a different approach to defying gravity – an approach that redefines the substance of a meaningful and consequential life. Meaning can certainly be found in bold strokes and grand lists of accomplishments. Or it can be found in making a difference in more quiet ways no less impactful: in personal interactions and local accomplishments and joyful living.

“Your limitations aren’t obstacles to a meaningful existence, which you must spend your days struggling to overcome, en route to some imaginary point when you’ll finally get to feel fulfilled. On the contrary, accepting them, stepping more fully into them, is precisely how you build a saner, freer, more accomplished, socially connected and enchantment-filled life.”

If you’re looking for some words of wisdom about making a difference with your life, you may appreciate Oliver Burkeman’s candor and actionable advice, especially at the start of a new year.

My best wishes to you for a fulfilling 2025!

Bonus advice that speaks to my heart: “Spending half an hour reading something interesting, moving, awe-inspiring or merely amusing might be worth doing, not just to improve who you become in the future – though it might do that too – but for the sake of that very half hour of being alive.”

All quotations are from Meditations for Mortals: Four weeks to embrace your limitations and make time for what counts, by Oliver Burkeman (2024), except where indicated.

Reposted from my January 2024 newsletter.